You're not going to get closure…
You’re just never going to get closure or even an apology from someone who doesn’t see the wrong in their actions.
From someone who surrounds themselves with people who normalise and validate their wrongful actions.
The person who was once in my life still refuses to see how their actions were harmful.
They still refuse to see things from my perspective.
They still don't see the wrong in their actions.
They still shift the blame to me instead of actually self-reflecting and being accountable for what they did.
And they still completely negate, dismiss, and deny how they made me feel, along with the trauma and damage that is real that they left behind that they deny and still refuse to acknowledge.
Heartbreakingly I occasionally hear about some of the things that they’ve said that are so hurtful, and I know about some of the deceptive things they’ve done that they don’t think I know about.
But to be honest an apology now after the amount of time it's taken them, it wouldn’t even matter anymore, because they’ve shown me who they really are now.
They showed me their true colours, and I’m not interested in having the type of person that they really are in my life.
I’m not interested in entertaining a conversation with someone who won’t be accountable, and who isn’t self-aware enough to actually see that what they did was wrong.
I'm not interested in engaging with someone who always wanted me to be accountable for my faults and my mistakes, but who continues to shift the blame instead of being accountable for theirs.
I'd rather surround myself with people who are genuinely kind, honest, trustworthy, humble, and accountable, not someone who just pretends they are.
The truth is you're never going to receive an acknowledgement, an apology, or any form of remorse or closure from someone who doesn’t see a problem with their actions; and even if you do is it even going to be genuine or sincere, or is it only going to be used to manipulate you again.
You're never going to get closure from them because they just don't get it!
Because instead of being self-aware, they’re selfish, and they don’t care about how they made you feel!
The only way forward is by letting them live with whatever delusional story that they want to keep telling themselves about you.
And I know it hurts knowing that they think that about you, especially given that what you felt on your side towards them was genuine, but letting go of their false narratives about you really is the only way forward.
A person who doesn't care about how they've made you feel doesn't deserve any part of you.
They don't deserve your heart, and they don't deserve any more of your emotional or mental energy.
You don't need their closure, your closure is the very fact that they refuse to be accountable, so let them go...
~ Mark Smith