I’ll never forget the day that someone labelled something significant that I had been through as “BS,” when they had no clue at all about what they were talking about. None!
I remember thinking; what kind of person does that to someone when they don't know the facts. What kind of a person is okay with dismantling what someone's been through by being prepared to just speak garbage about things they know nothing about.
In that moment they showed their ignorance, their immaturity, and their double standards.
At first I was taken back and I took it personally, then I became angry and appalled at the type of arrogance this person demonstrated, and then I came to realise this…
If someone doesn’t understand your story it’s not up to you to make them understand, because some people don’t want to understand.
Not everyone is listening with the intention of hearing you.
Some people listen just enough to respond, to pick apart your words, or to reshape your experience into something that fits their own perspective. They’re not seeking the truth, they’re seeking comfort in their version of it. And no matter how clearly you explain yourself, you can’t reach someone who has already chosen not to see you, and to be against you.
Your story is not up for debate. It’s not something that requires approval, validation, or agreement to be real. You lived it, you felt it, and you know the moments that changed you, the things you had to carry in silence, and the ways you had to rebuild yourself when no one was watching. That truth exists whether someone acknowledges it or not.
There’s a power in stepping back from the need to be understood by the wrong people.
The right people for you won’t make you feel like you’re too much, too complicated, or too hard to understand. They’ll listen without trying to fix anything, without trying to minimise, and without trying to rewrite what you’ve been through.
There is strength in letting go of the need to be understood by everyone, in choosing peace over proving a point, and in recognising that constantly trying to make someone understand you can keep you tied to people who were never meant to hold space for you in the first place
You are not here to convince anyone of your truth. You are here to honour it, protect it, and stand in it without apology.
And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do isn’t to keep explaining, it’s to stop, take your energy back, and walk away from those who were never interested in really listening anyway.
~ Mark Smith