This one’s for the anyone who is devastatingly heartbroken right now and using “no contact” as a strategy to try and win your ex back.
I really want you to hear me on this one…
No contact has its place when you’re trying to heal and move on from someone, but if you’re using the “no contact” method right now in hopes of trying to win someone back, STOP!
I know you’re hurting right now and all you want is for them to come back, but the truth is and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but in most cases it doesn’t work!
Not only that but it’s manipulative!
Here’s what you need to understand…
When you go no contact you’re teaching them how to live without you.
You’re giving them space to create new memories, new habits, meet new people, and to build a different life without you.
You’re not really in “no contact” at that point, your relationship is just over.
If you really want your ex back, you need to understand that they will only come back if they can see that things will be better; they’re not going to come back because you decided to play a manipulative mind game!
If you really want your ex back, focus on the reasons as to why the relationship broke down to begin with and learn from what’s happened!
Be accountable for the role that you played in the relationship not working, and reflect on how you could have been better, and then become that better person.
Your relationship ended for a reason, and if you win them back without identifying and fixing the root cause of those problems, it’s only going to be a matter of time before your new relationship ends in exactly the same way it did the first time around.
Another relationship with this person has to be a brand new relationship for it to work, it can’t be the same one as before.
So stop playing manipulative mind games in the hope that they will play too.
And if you think about it and you’re really honest with yourself; do you really want someone to come back to you based on some psychological and manipulative mind game, because you deserve someone who comes to you on their own free will.
You deserve someone who’s tired of the games and who’s looking for love and commitment.
If you do decide to go no contact, go no contact for you!
Go no contact because you’ve made the decision that even though it hurts right now, that you know deep inside that it’s best for you to heal and to move on from this person.
No contact isn’t a strategy to win your ex back, it’s a manipulative mind game!
The right strategy is to be accountable, become a better version of yourself, and learn from what’s happened, because when you do that, one of two things are going to happen…
Either you’ll have an opportunity to reunite and rekindle the relationship because they’ll see that you’ve worked on yourself, or you’ll have worked on yourself so much that you’ll realise that you’ve outgrown them and the relationship and that the relationship is no longer the best fit for you.
Let this be your voice of reason in amongst the pain, and stop playing a game that’s unlikely to work.
Start focusing on your own growth because that’s what’s going to be permanent.
It’s time to focus your energy on you, your healing, and becoming the person that you’ve always wanted to be, not them…
~ Mark Smith