This is for anyone who’s feeling hurt by the lies that someone has deliberately told about you to cover up the fact that they’ve done the wrong thing, especially if you loved this person and they turned out to be narcissistic…
Lies and manipulation are key hallmarks of a narcissists behaviour.
The lies they tell you, and the lies they tell about you to others.
They live their life pretending to be someone they’re not, and they know that the truth will expose everything that they’ve been trying to hide.
So they lie ferociously, lie upon lie, and employ any tactic to prevent their “pure”, “kind”, and “innocent” image that they’ve so very carefully crafted from being tarnished or exposed as being fake.
I can honestly say from my own personal experiences that finding out about the extremities of the lies told by someone you once loved so dearly, is one of the most painful parts of coming to terms with the fact that someone was in fact a narcissist and that they knew exactly what they were doing all along.
Everything that you once held onto as being the “good parts” of the relationship; suddenly all becomes something that you realise was just never real to begin with, and just part of their manipulative game that they were playing.
I discovered along the path of my own healing journey, that they knowingly lied directly to my face hundreds upon hundreds of times over.
They were so good at speaking their lies and manipulating scenarios to cover up what they had done, I couldn’t even tell.
In fact, I still to this very day continue to find out about more of their lies and the things they tried to keep hidden from me; they just keep surfacing one after another.
The intensity and ferocity of their lies was nothing short of sickening!
This part of narcissism is truly disgusting, because their lies are disgusting.
The realisation of coming to terms with who this person really was, was absolutely gut wrenching.
The truth is that a narcissist is able to lie, manipulate, and deflect without feeling any sense of guilt or remorse because their true character lacks honesty, integrity, and any real values; they have no conscience!
You on the other hand if you’ve ever been subjected to this cannot understand or make sense of any of this because you’re not like them.
And because you’re not like them it’s really important to understand that as you heal there will be times when you just simply can’t understand why they did something; because no normal, decent person would ever do what they did.
They live in a world that is filled with a false sense of grandiose about who they are, yet they will always play the victim for the self-preservation and protection of their ego.
But they convince themselves that the lies they tell are real, and this is where the danger lies, because this is why they’re so convincing in manipulating others to believe their lies.
They truly live in a distorted reality, and unfortunately when they can no longer control you they will then turn their attention to trying to control how everyone else sees you.
The heartbreaking truth is that finding out about their lies always feels like a stab right through the heart, no matter how much time has passed.
But you have to consciously decide to let go of their lies and be okay with being the villain in their story, because the longer you hold onto their lies, the longer they continue to control and manipulate you and your emotions, and that’s exactly what they want!
The people who are in your life for the right reasons and who really matter will know the truth.
They will be respectful enough to hear your side of the story unlike the narcissists support network of flying monkeys who are so easily manipulated and so ignorant to the truth.
At the end of the day you have to remember that you can’t control what they choose to say about you because you can’t control who they really are, so let it go…
Let it be, let them say what they want, and let those who want to believe their lies show everyone how unintelligent they really are.
Let go of them and live your life, and be okay with being their villain in their story; just stay true to who you know you are and make sure that you’re the hero in yours.
And remember, the people in your life who really matter will know the truth!
~ Mark Smith