If you think you're being manipulated by someone, I hate to say it but you probably are...
Because manipulation isn't obvious, it creeps up on you...
It's so incredibly subtle.
Sometimes you don't even realise it's there.
I know because I found myself on the receiving end of a master manipulator.
They managed to destroy almost every single aspect of my life.
But they were so good at what they did, and it was so gradual that I didn't even realise the damage they had caused until it was too late, by which time the damage had already been done.
You see, a master manipulator is so good at what they do that you don't even realise you are being manipulated, and by the time you do figure it out; they know you've figured them out and they're manipulating everyone else into believing that you are the problem.
They are so good at what they do that after a while you begin to question your own internal instincts and your own inner voice, because your manipulator tells you that what you're feeling is silly, or not real.
It's not just some fictitious notion floating around in your head like they make you believe; what your instincts are trying to tell you and what you're feeling is REAL.
They mess with your head, so you begin to doubt what your instincts are telling you.
The very first thing to try and understand is that your trauma that they left you with is NOT your fault, but your healing from the trauma they left you with is your responsibility
Don't allow what the master manipulator did to you to disintegrate and erode your self worth or who you are.
Don't blame yourself for not seeing it sooner...
I know that's much easier said than done; I've been there.
I've questioned my own experience, I've sat there countless times and thought to myself that I wish I had never ever let this person into my life to begin with.
How I would have been so much better off without them.
I get it.
But the fact is, you did let them in; but you did so believing in good faith that who they said they were was real.
You can't go back and change what happened, but you can come to the understanding that they really were manipulating you from the very beginning.
Remember, they are very good at what they do; they wanted you blind, they wanted you confused.
They did deflect, they did shift blame, they did lie, they will play the victim, and they will blame you for your reaction to their disrespect.
But it was them that was always the problem all along; not you like they made you believe you were.
It was them that bought the chaos and pain into your life.
And it was them that took your heart for granted.
So be kind and gentle with yourself, because healing will take some time.
But slowly bit by bit; the confused state they left you in will subside, and you will begin to feel like you again.
You can't really ever make sense of how they are, because you're not like them; so don't punish yourself for not being able to understand.
They were just not the nice, genuine person that they painted themselves to be.
I know it's hard watching them move on only to continue playing their games and pretend to be someone different from who they really are with everyone else, but eventually just like you did; they too will see what's really under the covers
Your focus now is YOU.
YOUR healing, YOUR rebuilding, YOUR happiness, and YOUR beautiful future.
There are going to be days that are harder than others but know this; you are absolutely going to be okay and you're absolutely going to make it through.
Just take each day one small step at a time; because the time you give yourself for healing, is your safe little cocoon that will transform you into a beautiful butterfly...
~ Mark