Crushed…
That’s what it feels like when you see someone who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, give what you had hoped they’d given to you, give so freely to someone else…
That’s what it feels like when all of the times you begged for their time, their love, and their affection got ignored, but they now give this freely to someone else…
That’s what it feels like when any hope that they might just see things your way and finally managed to understand how they really made you feel, is decimated right before your eyes.
Because that’s what it feels like when you love someone so much more than you ever loved yourself…
Because having your heart crushed like this makes you question your own self-worth.
Because what you always wanted from this person, who you thought was the love of your life, has now been given to someone else.
It’s a devastating, heart crushing reality to face.
It’s easy to make the assumption in the face of this, that there’s something wrong with you.
It’s easy to feel like you weren’t enough.
But there’s something that you need to remember…
You remained in a relationship where you put up with being treated much less than you’re worth, you remained somewhere where you weren’t happy.
You accepted lower than what you deserve because of the fact that you did love them and you know in your heart that you would have done anything for them, but you were falling more and more in love with the person you’d wish they’d have been towards you.
Not the person they were.
Because they should have already been loving you in the way that you deserve…
So I guess the bigger question here then, is why were you settling for less than what you should have?
Why were you constantly seeking validation from someone who wouldn’t even recognise your needs?
When you’re in a relationship where you constantly have to beg for the basics, and you constantly don’t receive the type of love you should receive, it slowly destroys your self-worth.
You start to believe that you aren’t worthy of the right type of love, so you settle…
Well you are worthy!
And even though right now you might be feel absolutely crushed beyond belief, you would have felt even more crushed as each day passed where your self-worth would have continued to deteriorate and you would have continued to become more and more unhappy all because someone wouldn’t love you the way that you deserve to be loved…
Believe it or not but this feeling of a painful heartbreak and a crushed heart and soul can also be a moment where you remind yourself that you do have value, and that you really were settling for less than you deserve.
I know it might not feel like it right now, but the right person will see your value, and they will understand your needs and love languages, and they will give you the type of love that you deserve without you ever having to even ask…
I know it hurts, but the reality is that relationship ended because there were things that weren’t working in the relationship that for one reason or another both parties chose to ignore.
But the good news is that if this reminds you of all of the reasons why you shouldn’t be settling for less than you deserve, then you’re never going to be hurt like this again;
because you’ll know who you are, what you want, and you’ll know exactly all of the things that you don’t want in a relationship.
You’ll be able to identify who’s a good fit for you and who isn’t, and you won’t be afraid to walk away from someone who’s hurting your soul.
And when you become that person, that’s a person who will attract the type of person who has the same values as you when it comes to a relationship, and who will look after your heart better than anyone else has ever looked after it before…
~ Mark Smith